All the Time in the World
by Luna Darkside
Summary: "Why do you love me, Shinichi?" In which Kaito is having doubts, and Shinichi is bewildered by them. /ShinKai, oneshot, complete/


_**Pairing: **__established!Shinichi x Kaito (reversible)_

_**Warnings: **__Shounen-ai, possible grammar errors / mistakes, general sappiness, Kaito being an insecure ball of adorableness, Shinichi being a sappy idiot, etc. You know, the usual._

_**Notes: **__Yes, I am aware that I have been writing far too much insecure!ShinKai. I don't know why, but I just adore the idea of the boys being insecure about each other, especially Kaito about Shinichi. I have a feeling, though, that it's just because he's such a confident character in canon and I like to think that Shinichi would be the only one who makes him doubt himself. _

_Yeah, I know. Weird._

_Anyway, hope you enjoy! – Luna_

**All the Time in the World**

The sky shivered, clouds squirming uncomfortably, and Kaito glared.

His glare apparently did nothing to halt or impede the progress of the oncoming storm, though, and the clouds shuddered one last time and nearly exploded, sending fat drops of rainwater flying to the earth.

Kaito sighed as rain splattered against his head and shoulders, quickly drenching him. His coat clung to his shoulders damply. He rubbed at his arms, watching as umbrella-toting people began to rush past him.

It was true that the forecast that morning had stated that there might be rain later that day, but Kaito had still forgotten to bring an umbrella. And now here he was, standing at the clock tower with just about no shelter.

Well, that was okay. Shinichi was going to be here soon enough, once he finished work at the police headquarters, and they could share. (He had no doubt that Shinichi would have an umbrella. The detective was nothing if not overly prepared.) Then maybe they could swing by Shinichi's house, and Kaito could grab a change of clothes from the growing collection he had over there. After that, they'd go out to the restaurant at the Beika Center Building that Shinichi had insisted on taking him to tonight.

Kaito smiled a little at the thought. He was incredibly lucky, he knew, to have someone like Shinichi. The man could come off as a bit mystery-obsessed and ridiculously dense at times, but he was undeniably attractive and insanely intelligent and unexpectedly adoring and snarky in the best ways and ugh, Kaito was so unreasonably in love with him that it hurt in a multitude of manners.

Letting his head fall back, Kaito let out a long, slow breath. He dragged the sole of his shoe against the concrete, forgetting about the sticky slide of rain down the curve of his cheek. Sometimes – only _sometimes _– he had to… wonder, a little. Why Shinichi would choose someone like him – a thief, a criminal, someone whose morals were so completely opposite his. That had been a problem when they'd first met, all those years ago, although it seemed to have faded with time.

It was clear to Kaito that other people saw Shinichi's worth – he had caught Azusa staring a little too long while taking their order on more than one occasion and he would always be a little wary of Ran, despite how she batted away his initial suspicions and was dating some other guy – and it burned him, just a tiny bit. Especially when he saw _their _worth in return – Azusa was a hardworking, inordinately nice girl, and Ran was an honest, beautiful karate champion.

And to tell the truth, it – it _scared_ Kaito. He hated to admit it, but it did. Because that meant that Shinichi could have anyone, and there were bound to be people better suited to Shinichi, people who were girls and therefore more socially acceptable, people who shared the same morals and values, people who could match wits with the great detective.

If that were to happen, who _knew _what would happen to Kaito. He'd be abandoned, at the very least, destined to become a passing memory and a face on the street.

The thought was all too horrifying… and all too possible.

_Shut up, _Kaito firmly commanded himself when he realized how dark his thoughts were getting. He might be standing in the rain alone, but Shinichi was on his way, and _that_ was what mattered most. His insecurities could wait until later.

Kaito swept a swathe of hair off his forehead, peering around the courtyard. Shinichi was verging on late, and from what Kaito knew about Shinichi, that was more than a little unusual. Shinichi wasn't as bad as Hakuba (well, it would be rather difficult to be as bad as Hakuba), but still, he was almost always on time. Unless he randomly got bombarded by a dead body, which actually occurred more often than one would think possible, so then again...

The thought of Shinichi stumbling upon a corpse made Kaito sigh, and he teased raindrops from his eyelashes with a fingertip as he scanned the area yet again for any sign of the familiar cowlick and azure eyes.

He caught sight of his detective a second later. Shinichi was standing across the street, waiting to cross the street and carrying his usual boring gray umbrella. Kaito's heart lurched, a half-smile slipping across his face as he started towards the crosswalk –

– until he caught sight of the unfamiliar woman standing beside Shinichi.

At this distance, it was hard to tell her age or gauge her beauty, but if Kaito had to guess, she was older than both Shinichi and Kaito. She was wearing an elaborate bun, positioned neatly on the back of her head, and her glasses seemed to gleam in the rain. The way she carried herself, arms crossed over the front of her stylish coat and her posture painstakingly perfect down to the tips of her pumps, made her seem straight-laced and formidably intelligent.

But what was most irritating to Kaito was the fact that she was sharing Shinichi's umbrella, standing so close that her hip was nearly brushing Shinichi's thigh. And from what Kaito could make out, Shinichi was smiling at her and saying something that made _her _smile and they were laughing and _dammit_, that was supposed to be Kaito sharing Shinichi's umbrella.

The thoughts that Kaito had just barely managed to banish came flooding back full force, and Kaito shuddered to a stop, stumbling a little. For some reason, something was welling up in his chest – something dark gray and crumbling – yet somehow, he simultaneously felt hollow, as if the life had been stolen straight from his body.

His throat seemed to lock, and Kaito found himself turning around, away from Shinichi and the mystery woman. His brain was telling him that this was stupid, childish, that just because they were sharing an umbrella didn't mean anything and _trust in Shinichi_, for the love of God – but his heart was whimpering that Shinichi was too good for Kaito, and that the woman would be better for him, law-abiding and beautiful and female, and Kaito was conflicted as he began to walk, away from Shinichi and away from the woman.

_This is ridiculous_, he told himself.

But his feet wouldn't stop.

* * *

By the time Kaito shed his dripping wet coat and hung it up to dry, there were nearly ten messages from Shinichi on his phone. He scrolled through them – they were all variants of _where are you _and a_re you okay _and _what's going on _– and he bit his lip and stared at them, unsure of what to do. A droplet of water fell from his bangs onto the screen, magnifying the word _okay._

Swallowing, Kaito wiped his phone off on his shirt, grimacing when the wet fabric did nothing to improve the situation. He sneezed, remembering that he was sopping wet. Sometime on the way home, he'd just started feeling numb.

Flicking on the lights, Kaito headed into the kitchen and dried off his screen there. He thought about what to do – what could he tell Shinichi? That he'd been hit with a wave of intense jealousy and couldn't bring himself to face him?

"Ugh," Kaito muttered, palming at his face. He shot off a quick response to Shinichi – _Sorry, wasn't feeling well, maybe next time _– before he shut off his phone and headed for his room.

He collapsed on his bed with a wet thunk, wrinkling his bedspread. Ignoring the damp that was steadily sinking straight through his comforter to his sheets, Kaito rolled onto his back, studying the ceiling as if looking for signs of life. What was _wrong _with him?

_So many things_, something in his head whispered, and he sighed.

Really, what did Shinichi see in him?

* * *

It wasn't till he heard someone pounding on his front door that Kaito emerged from the fitful sleep he'd somehow managed to fall into. He blinked in the murkiness of his room, his eyelids heavy and tired. Having dried around him, his clothes felt uncomfortably stiff, and Kaito shivered underneath them. What time was it?

The banging on the door increased in both speed and intensity, and Kaito was brought back to the present. "Coming," he croaked, voice feeling sandpapery, and he tried to move, only to give a violent shudder and curl in on himself almost reflexively. His blood felt as if it had been replaced by ice, coursing painfully through his veins.

Abruptly, the knocking stopped, and there was the sound of a key turning in the lock. Kaito's eyes widened, even as another violent shiver racked him. His mother was in Paris, Jii was on holiday, and only one other person had a key to his house –

"Well, you definitely don't look too great," came a familiar voice, and Kaito adjusted his head against the pillow to see Shinichi standing in the doorway. He wore a damp overcoat and a faint frown as he observed his shivering magician.

Despite himself, Kaito managed a weak smile. "H-Hey."

"Don't _hey _me." Shinichi's scowl grew as he shucked his coat before crossing the room to kneel beside Kaito's bed. His eyebrows lifted at the wetness that met his fingertips when he touched the bedspread. "Did you go to sleep in wet clothes?"

Kaito tried for a grin, but his teeth were chattering too hard. "Maybe?"

Shinichi swore fluently for a full ten seconds. He was probably the only person who could make "shit" and "stupid goddamn magician" sound that eloquent. "How did you even fall asleep in completely drenched clothes?"

"Um…" Kaito thought about it. Somehow, he didn't think Shinichi would be satisfied with "Well, I was thinking about how I'm not good enough for you when I saw you with some woman, and it made me so depressed that I ditched you for our date and I was out-of-sorts enough to not notice that I was sopping wet when I lay down. Then I fell asleep, and now I'm pretty sure that I'm going to die." Despite that it was, you know, the truth.

Thankfully, Shinichi didn't seem to expect an answer. He tugged on Kaito's hand, wincing at how cold his fingers were. "Could you get up? I need to change your sheets. And you need to warm up. Go take a shower."

"Mm." Kaito struggled to sit up. His limbs felt frozen solid, and he frowned in irritation.

The detective watched him for a long second. One corner of his mouth twitched, as if he were holding back an irritated growl. "Here, let me help you."

Before Kaito could protest, Shinichi swept him up into his arms, Kaito's legs resting upon the crook of his right elbow and his back braced against his left. His eyes grew wide. "Wait a sec –"

"Just let me spoil you for a second," Shinichi smirked as he headed for the bathroom. "You deserve it."

At that, Kaito scowled. "Do you really think that?" he muttered, hating the second the words were out of his mouth. Unconsciously, his fingers tightened in the front of Shinichi's sweater. He felt stupidly childish and excruciatingly vulnerable, and the feelings were not welcome in the least.

Shinichi didn't hear him, shuffling down the hallway towards the bathroom. "Wow, Kaito, you're light. Have you been eating properly?"

"Of course I have," Kaito replied, frowning at him indignantly and momentarily forgetting how cold he was.

He felt rather than saw Shinichi laugh, his chest rumbling against Kaito's arm. "I don't know about that," Shinichi remarked lightly. "You're just an idiot thief, after all."

_Idiot thief. _Kaito sighed, the chill returning to him. "Yep, that's me," he said, with forced cheer. "Everyone's favorite idiot thief."

Shinichi's eyebrows reached for each other, and Kaito mentally chastised himself. Leave it to Shinichi to notice when he was faking.

"What's wrong?" Shinichi asked, but by then, they had arrived at the bathroom. Kaito carefully disentangled himself from Shinichi, fighting to keep his balance as he shivered.

"I'll go in now," he told Shinichi quietly, avoiding his gaze purposefully.

He missed the way Shinichi frowned in confusion as the bathroom door shut, looking and feeling lost.

What was going on with Kaito?

* * *

When Kaito emerged from the bathroom, wearing the warmest pair of sweatpants he owned and a sweatshirt that he had found left outside the bathroom door, Shinichi was waiting for him on his bed, arms crossed.

"Hi," Kaito greeted, drawing to a stop. There was something off about Shinichi's eyes – they were a little too narrowed, a little too calculating. His stomach dropped to the ground.

"Hi." Shinichi smiled faintly. The bed creaked as he stood up. "Can we talk?"

Ah, the "can we talk." Employed right before a break up. Kaito felt the air leave his lungs in a steady exhale. So his suspicions had come true. Shinichi had found someone better.

"Sure," was all he said, though, as he started forward. He walked past Shinichi, sitting down on the bed to look tiredly up at his detective. "Let's talk."

Hesitating for a second, Shinichi's mouth twisted (what was that supposed to mean?) before he carefully took a seat beside Kaito. Kaito found it hard to meet his gaze.

"Would you look at me?" Shinichi requested, with painful gentleness. Gentleness that Kaito didn't find necessary. If he was going to break up with him, he'd like it to be as quick as possible.

But he did as Shinichi asked, angling his face so his eyes met Shinichi's. "What is it?"

Shinichi blinked a few times. In his lap, his fingers knit together before loosening. "I just…" He stammered to a stop, detaching his gaze from Kaito's.

Here it was. Shinichi was going to break up with him – stupid, pathetic, insecure him.

At Kaito's side, the detective bit his lip. With a strained sigh, he forced himself to look straight at Kaito and hold his gaze. "I just… wanted to know if you were okay, that's all."

Kaito gaped. "What?"

"You've been acting sort of weird today," Shinichi explained, a little defensive as his fingers wove together again. "I know that you must've gone outside today in the rain judging from your wet clothes, and it only started raining at about five o'clock. Which is when we were supposed to meet. So you were feeling well enough to go out, but for some reason you cancelled on me and came back home. And when you got home, you were so out of it that you fell asleep in wet clothes. Something's clearly not right." Azure eyes pleaded with Kaito. "Talk to me. What's going on?"

For not the first time, Kaito wondered why he'd fallen for a _detective_, of all people. Or at least for someone who could read him so effortlessly. Someone who knew him so ridiculously well. Someone who was so unexpectedly caring.

He had to suppress a laugh. When he put it that way, it was obvious why Kaito had fallen for him.

Returning his attention to Shinichi, Kaito found that the man was studying him carefully, his eyes trailing over every bit of his face, lingering on his lips before traveling to trace the curve of his jaw. Shinichi was trying to understand, he knew. Shinichi only ever tried to do what would benefit Kaito.

Clenching his teeth, Kaito swallowed, the sound loud in the stillness of the room. "Why do you love me?" he asked lowly, and Shinichi started, obviously not expecting the question.

"What?"

Raising his face, Kaito faced Shinichi directly. He could pick out the varying hues of azure in his eyes, could see the slightly higher lift of one side of his mouth. "Why do you love me, Shinichi?" he repeated, voice still soft. He could almost hear the tremble, the way his voice stumbled a little on _Shinichi_.

And even though Kaito was expecting it, was bracing himself for it, it still stung when Shinichi's face fell.

"I…" Shinichi cleared his throat. One hand lifted to run through his hair, almost wearily. "That's…"

It felt as if someone had stuck a burning coal down his throat. Kaito just nodded. "Don't worry, I don't know either," he remarked, trying for a mirthless laugh. It got stuck behind his teeth, choking him. He couldn't dislodge it. "I really don't deserve you."

Oblivious, Shinichi blinked, frowning. "Huh? What are you talking about?"

Kaito turned to look at him. "What? Isn't that what you were saying?"

"That I don't know why I love you and that you don't deserve me?" Shinichi gawked in disbelief. He reached out, grasping Kaito's shoulders to angle him so they were facing each other squarely. "No. No, _hell _no. That's not what I think."

Puzzled, Kaito pulled Shinichi's hands off his shoulders. They were warm to the touch, and he held onto them, feeling lost. "Then why did you hesitate just now?"

"Oh, that…?" Shinichi flushed, but he didn't pull his hands out of Kaito's grip. "I… it's just, I don't know where to start. There's way too much."

_...What?_

Oblivious, Shinichi scowled, tilting his head to one side pensively. "I mean, should I start with personality first? Probably, that's the biggest. But there's so much for your sense of romance alone. Oh, and your mind, too; that's a big one. And then there are all your idiosyncrasies and your voice… and I guess I should include appearance as well, but that's kind of superficial, even if it's a legitimate reason…" He leveled Kaito a glance. "Do you have anything planned for the next day or two? I might need longer, but let's start with that."

Something in Kaito's chest exploded, sending sparks dancing through his veins, replacing the remnants of ice still lodged there. Before he knew what he was doing, he pulled lightly on Shinichi's hands, dragging him across the bed into Kaito's arms. "I have all the time in the world," he murmured into Shinichi's hair, and he felt Shinichi smile against his collarbone.

"Good. Because I'm going to need it."

* * *

The scent of coffee was heavy in the air as Kaito padded into the kitchen. Shinichi, who was sitting at the kitchen table with his customary cup of coffee and his phone, looked up when he entered.

"Good morning, love," he smirked, and Kaito blushed faintly as he sat down across from him.

"It seems we've progressed to the 'pet names' stage of our relationship."

"Are you kidding? We had that even before we started dating."

"Hm?"

Shinichi waved a hand. "You know, the whole 'tantei-kun' and 'idiot thief' thing."

"Do those really count as pet names?"

Shrugging, Shinichi took a sip of coffee. "Who knows."

They sat in a companionable silence for a few moments before Shinichi broke it. "Hey, about yesterday…"

Kaito stiffened. "Which… part of yesterday?"

Steady eyes bored into him, and Shinichi set down his cup. "The part where you were wondering why I loved you. And saying that you don't deserve me." He paused. There was concern written across his face. "Why did you think that?"

"Because…" Kaito ground to a halt. What could he say? "I mean… I don't feel as if I'm the best person for you. I've always sort of thought that, you know, you'd be better off with someone who shares your morals and respect for the law. Someone who looks up to you and can appreciate your talent more than me." He swallowed. "A… girl, maybe. You could have anyone, you know. And I'm… I'm just not the best fit."

By the time Kaito finished speaking, Shinichi was openmouthed and gawping. "You're saying that I'd be better off with a law-abiding girl of lesser intelligence who would worship me."

The way he put it sounded rather cutting, but Kaito couldn't help but nod. It was accurate, after all. "Well… yes."

"Oh God." Shinichi leaned back, clenching fistfuls of his hair. "No way, Kaito. Someone like that would bore me to tears."

"You really think so?" One of Kaito's eyebrows crept upwards.

"I _know_." Shinichi released his bangs, shooting Kaito a look. "I guess maybe someone who followed laws would be _okay_, I guess, but your heists really are something I look forward to, even if I don't say it. And someone who looks up to me – I don't think that would work out well. I like people who can match or surpass me in intelligence – be a challenge. If this hypothetical person couldn't do that, I don't think we'd have interesting conversations. The whole relationship would be a complete pain. As for the person being a girl, I don't care what society thinks. That's really not important to me."

He gave a sudden grin, even though his cheeks turned pink. "And in the end, it all boils down to this: I might be able to 'have anyone,' sure, but I don't _want_ anyone but you, Kaito. Nobody else will do. It has to be you, and you alone. If I couldn't have you, I wouldn't care _who _I could have. And frankly… I don't care now, either."

The unexpectedly sweet words made Kaito blink. "That… was sappy."

"Shut up," Shinichi answered affably. "You understand now, though, right?"

"Yep." Kaito smiled, a bit ruefully. "It was just… I saw you with that woman yesterday when I was waiting for you, and it just made me so… I don't know. That's why I ditched you, though."

For some reason, Shinichi had begun to frown. "What are you talking about?"

"Yesterday, when I was waiting at the clock tower for you, I saw you sharing an umbrella with a random woman," Kaito informed him. "I guess she was just a stranger, though. She had glasses and a bun. You guys looked like a pretty cute couple."

Shinichi went white. "Oh – were you… that was… I'm not…" He trailed off. "Shit, that's just so… wrong."

"What's wrong?" Kaito frowned. What had he said?

Shinichi gulped. "That woman was, uh… Ran's mom."

"…_What_."

"E-Er, that… um." Shinichi rubbed the back of his head. "I ran into her when I was leaving police headquarters, and she insisted that I stay with her, since she forgot her umbrella. She's damn scary, so I shared my umbrella with her until that intersection." He shuddered. "I can't believe you thought that we… ick."

Kaito fell back in his chair. "Well." He glanced at Shinichi. "In my defense, I was standing far away. I couldn't really make out her facial features."

"I understand. I just – I can't believe _that's_ what started this whole thing." Shinichi gave a breathless sort of laugh, shutting his eyes exhaustedly.

"I did manage to get you to say some nice things, though," Kaito smiled, beaming at Shinichi.

His detective cracked open an eye. "Idiot thief," he reprimanded fondly. Then, quieter, with all the shyness a twenty-year-old homicide detective could possess, "I'll say them whenever you want. All you have to do is ask."

"Really?" Kaito smirked, balancing his face in his hands as he watched Shinichi. "Why do you love me, Shinichi?"

A smile worked itself across Shinichi's lips. "I hope you've got a couple days, then."

"Don't be silly." The magician laughed. "I've got all the time in the world."

* * *

***cough***

**Um, yeah. So that... happened.**

**Hope you enjoyed, and if you did, please leave me a review~! Love to all of you! - Luna**


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